David and Kristen Coffee
How long have you been connected with David’s Refuge?
We have been connected with David’s Refuge for almost 10 years
Please explain any diagnosis your child has, and you have experience with.
We have five children. One biological and four through private adoption. Our biological son is going into his junior year at SUNY Fredonia majoring in writing. Elijah is 13 and has Down Syndrome, Autism and is suspected to have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Gabriel is 12 and has Down Syndrome, Autism and is deaf in his right ear. Elizabeth is 11 and she has autism and hydrocephalus which is controlled with a VP shunt. Our “baby” Micah is 9 and is deaf, he wears a cochlear and is completely verbal. In the past we were foster parents to over ten children, several who also had special needs.
What is your favorite part of being a host?
It is so fun to meet new couples and spend time getting to know them. We all have a story and though it can so often seem like we are on this journey alone, we are here to come along side couples to let you know you are not alone! Every person from David’s Refuge you meet during your weekend or special event most likely feels very similar or did at some point along the journey. We love to hear other stories and get to know each of you.
What is something you want your guests to know about you?
David and I have been married for 23 years. David is a one-on-one aide for children with autism. I stay home to be with our children while either sick or running appointments. Before kids I was a surgical nurse.
What is a piece of advice you have found invaluable as a family with experience in special needs or a medically fragile diagnosis?
We have learned that grief and joy can co-exist. It is ok to be sad and even angry over a diagnosis or what you are going through. BUT, there is always, always something to be thankful for and it is OKAY to find joy in things even when in a valley.
Which partner location is your favorite and why?
River Spring Lodge is our favorite location. Love that it is only David’s Refuge couples. The large (okay, HUGE) dining table is so welcoming and a beautiful place where couples share and are reminded what they do matters, and they are not alone. The inn keepers make you feel like family and the good is amazing!!!
A genie grants you the ability to have infinite amount of one item. What is it?
Kristen, chocolate, it fixes everything
David, money. So that no family of kids with special needs would ever have to fight for medical care or services
What book changed your life?
The Bible, knowing that someone loves me unconditionally is sometimes overwhelming.
What is a question you wish people would ask you less?
About our previous foster kids. We don’t have answers